Connor Mac Writing

I don’t know why I bother trying

Striving to pin thoughts against

The wall of words falling

Pouring pure down 

Looking to digest the string of life

Shining light on the already too bright

 

I don’t know why I bother trying

When the truest thoughts seem

So inwardly out of reach

 Their essence passes words by

Thought patterns of life aligning

Without the faintest notion of desire

Passing with a drumming force

The driving beat

 

I don’t know why I bother trying

When it’s the invisible heartbeat

The rhythmic inner driving life force

Stringing this whole messy existence

Scarily to raw too touch together

The world of beauty idling underneath

 

I don’t know why I bother trying

Pigeonholing the sonic spontaneity

The jumping jack flash of rabbit

Attaching words to truth

Inevitably aims to lessen

To bring judgement and consumption

 

I don’t know why I bother trying

When much greater men and women

Have headed down this dark

And blind path for centuries

Sliding words in front of

The begging question 

And for the greatest part

Just scratching the surface

 

I don’t know why I bother trying

When the feeling of knowing your

Being real and righteous alive

Is so right there yet so untouchable

We know only through feeling

Without the unexplainable beat

The mind becomes weakened

Achieving only through thought

 

I know why I bother trying

Because without trying

I stand to lose the tiny tunnel

The little glowing spark separating

All that I desperately despise

With all that I feel to be real

In the realm far away

The back of the room feeling

That all this living means something

Bigger than I, bigger than words,

Bigger than the biggest greed

To ever lay its scorched vision

Down upon this fragile earth